As regards my future, it is precisely my practical doubts about it that trouble me. The decision as to what subject I shall specialize in will not come of its own accord. I must, therefore, consider the question and make my choice, and it is precisely this choice which causes me so many difficulties. Of course, it will be my endeavour to study thoroughly anything that I decide to take up, but it is precisely on this account that the choice is so difficult; for one feels constrained to choose that branch of study in which one can hope to do something complete. And how illusory such hopes often are; how often does one not allow oneself to be transported by a momentary prepossession, or by an old family tradition, or by one’s own personal wishes, so that the choice of a calling seems like a lottery in which there are a large number of blanks and very few winning numbers. Now, I happen to be in the particularly unfortunate position of possessing a whole host of interests connected with the most different branches of learning, and, though the general gratification of these interests may make a learned man of me, they will scarcely convert me into a creature with a vocation. The fact, therefore, that I must destroy some of these interests is perfectly clear to me, as well as the fact that I must allow some new ones to find a home in my brain. But which of them will be so unfortunate as to be cast overboard? Perhaps just the children of my heart!
I cannot express myself more plainly; it is evident that the position is critical and I must have come to a decision by this time next year. It certainly won’t come of its own accord, and I know too little about the various subjects.
Best wishes to you all.
About This Letter
Historical Context
Written in May 1863 from Schulpforta, one of Germany's most prestigious boarding schools, this letter captures the young Nietzsche at a crucial crossroads. At eighteen, he faced the pressure of choosing his university specialization within a year. The letter reveals his intellectual restlessness and the breadth of interests that would later characterize his philosophical work.
Significance
This letter offers rare insight into Nietzsche's early intellectual development, before he became the philosopher who would challenge Western thought. His anxieties about choosing a single path—and his recognition that he possessed interests 'connected with the most different branches of learning'—foreshadow the interdisciplinary nature of his later work. The metaphor of choice as a lottery and his fear of destroying his 'children of the heart' reveal the emotional stakes of intellectual commitment for the young scholar.
About Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) initially studied theology and classical philology at the University of Bonn and Leipzig. Despite the anxieties expressed in this letter, he would go on to become a professor of classical philology at the University of Basel at the remarkably young age of 24. However, his diverse interests ultimately led him beyond academia into philosophy, where he produced groundbreaking works including 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra,' 'Beyond Good and Evil,' and 'On the Genealogy of Morals.' His concepts of the Übermensch, eternal recurrence, and the will to power have profoundly influenced modern philosophy, psychology, and culture.
About His Mother
Nietzsche's mother, Franziska Nietzsche (née Oehler), was the daughter of a Lutheran pastor. After Nietzsche's father died when Friedrich was only five years old, she raised him in a household of women including his sister Elisabeth and his paternal grandmother and aunts. Their relationship was complex; while Nietzsche maintained correspondence with his mother throughout his life, he often felt intellectually isolated from his family and would later express frustration with their inability to understand his philosophical work.
Additional Resources
- Original text on Wikisource Complete text as preserved in the public domain
- Friedrich Nietzsche - Wikipedia Biographical information about the philosopher
- Schulpforta - Wikipedia Information about the prestigious school where Nietzsche wrote this letter